Sunday 15 September 2013

Dear Diary....


Lady Penelope Sinclair’s Diary


Dear Diary, 
I am devastated, simply devastated.  It was my duty as ranking officer to put our best paw forward and  demonstrate to our visiting dignitary, Colonel Mustard, the efficiency and discipline of our camp.
devastated and ashamed
After weeks of inspection I felt that the Colonel was beginning to bestow a favourable eye upon how the camp operates and was even starting to understand the roles the squawking pussy, Spock and the slobbering beast, Truffle, play in the function of our squad. 

Then suddenly, cat-astrophe! The Colonel is missing!  Not so much as a Mission Completed or Camp Passes Inspection or By Your Leave!

I can only conclude The Colonel has been abducted.  I have heard the Tall Ones refer to some far away alien race known as Newtonians who have some special and no doubt unnatural interest in The Colonel.  
Are these the  Newtownians?  Will poor Mustard get a probing?

And to think The Colonel should be abducted on my watch.  I am devastated!  Surely discommendation and demotion are looming in my future. 

I have tried searching the grounds but to no avail.  I am defeated by the perimeter fencing which the Tall Ones have erected around the Base.



  
I must find a way to escape the Base if I am to expand my search parameters.

My attention has been drawn to the strange craft the feline has recently acquired. I have seen her climb into it and having turned my back heard a strange roar and then she and the craft are gone, only to have her and the craft mysteriously reappear later.  Perhaps if I can figure out how to use this craft it may help me in my search for The Colonel.

basic instruction in the operation of the "Arrow Plain"


 Great news! The feline has confessed that the strange craft is something she calls an Arrow Plain and has offered to instruct me in its operation.  I figure if a feline can operate it, it must be incredibly easy to use.

I have mastered the operation of this craft and am searching in an ever widening circle  in an effort to locate The Colonel.  


There will be no retreat, no surrender from this campaign.  I will not falter, I will prevail.  Not just for me, but for all dogs. I see now all that The Colonel brought to the table.  The discipline, the focus,  a zest for life, a tang of adventure and colour.  The Colonel will be found.  


Where ever The Colonel has gone, I will catch up. It will become our motto, our one directive.  All dogs must have Mustard!

The end?

Captains Log


Captain’s Log—I mean Colonel’s Blog

Stardate 15/09/2013. 

First officer Spock reporting. 

It has been 18 days since the departure of the visiting dignitary Colonel Mustard.  The Colonel seemed to be here on some sort of fact finding mission, with protocol and efficiency parametric undertones.

When The Colonel  arrived my distrust alarm was activated and I immediately initiated surveillance and undercover work  gathering intel to determine whether this was merely a routine inspection or if Colonel Mustard and Lady Penelope Sinclair  are part of some sleeper cell or part of the Tail-iban. 

in stealth mode....tailing the suspects

After three weeks of observation I  concluded that the little brown dullard Penny is simply too stupid to be involved in intelligence and judging by the Colonel’s obsession with routine and protocol and butt sniffing it is apparent that she is what she seems to be: an anal retentive inspector.

no intelligence detected


Since the Colonel’s disappearance some weeks ago my  fellow crewmen Penny is convinced that Mustard  has been abducted by an alien race known only as  the Newtownians.
suspected appearance of Newtonians


 Judging by her hangdog face she  clearly  feels a responsibility for the disappearance as the abduction occurred on her watch.



I have seen her desperately  trying to  work the controls on my aerial craft, the Cats R Gr8.   She is bound and determined to learn the fate of the Colonel.  
Having confirmed these two  are what they appear to be, a simpleton and  a military cog,  I have decided to instruct the dull, brown plebe in the fine art of the operation of the single engine craft , Cats R Gr8, that  Batu lent me for my surveillance. 

lessons begin


Anything is better than watching  a hot dog yearning for Mustard.  It is easy enough to fly that even a dog can learn.

Friday 6 September 2013

Where is Colonel Mustard?

What's happened to Colonel Mustard?
Did the Colonel work out the controls and use the escape pod?   Was she abducted by aliens?  Did the lovely french man from episode 1 come back and take her away from all the madness?  Was the feline sleeper cell finally activated into action?  Did Truffle the Wonderdog scare her into a corner and she hasn't come out yet?  Is she afraid for her safety?
Stay tuned for the final double episode of  "The adventures of Colonel Mustard and lady Penelope"
Coming soon to a blog near you.